


Drifting Thoughts

by Taytair (Dragonshifter)



Series: Eccedentesiast's Redamancy [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Eating Disorders, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Insecurity, Internalized Homophobia, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Acceptance, Self-Denial, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:01:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24479155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonshifter/pseuds/Taytair
Summary: Thoughts centered on their relationships with one another(More tags and characters will be added as they are seen in the chapters)
Relationships: Persebony, Persephone Tallis/Ebony Glöckner, Taylor Soinre/Valtair Drastien, Taytair
Series: Eccedentesiast's Redamancy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1783633
Kudos: 2





	1. Taylor- valtair

Her thoughts of the red-headed boy have greatly evolved through the years. Admittedly, her original opinion hadn’t been very high, but that wasn’t altogether very unusual for her. People rarely pleased her with their first impressions. Thinking back, Taylor found herself embarrassed of how their first interactions had gone- most of it having been her fault in the embarrassment department. Now, she couldn’t imagine herself without the other. Simply put, Valtair was her other- and arguably  _ better _ \- half. 

She couldn’t express how much gratitude she holds for him and everything he’s done for her. When he pushed through her walls, he didn’t just stay for a visit, but he broke the wall down brick by brick and loved her. 

Love. Before Valtair, Taylor couldn’t tell you what that word meant. Sure, she could give you the dictionary definition ( **noun** : love; **plural noun** : loves **1.** _an intense feeling of deep affection;. a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone; affectionate greetings conveyed to someone on one's behalf; a formula for ending an affectionate letter; a personified figure of love, often represented as Cupid._ **2.** _a great interest and pleasure in something._ **3.** _a person or thing that one loves; a friendly form of address; used to express affectionate approval for someone._ **4.** (in tennis, squash, and some other sports) _a score of zero; nil_. **verb** : love; **3rd person present** : loves; **past tense** : loved; **past participle** : loved; **gerund or present participle** : loving **1.** _feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone); like or enjoy very much_ ), but now she knows in her very soul what love is. What it feels like. What it looks like. 

Her biggest fear used to be allowing people in, now it’s losing the love those who forced themselves in enthusiastically give her every day. Taylor wished she could properly express what Valtair meant to her. There aren’t words that can fully encompass all that he is and all that he means. 

He’s the reason she gets up in the morning. Without him, Taylor would be without purpose, lost in a world with too many expectations and not enough care. He gives her direction and hope for a better future. 

Valtair is, admittedly, a mystery to her. She doesn’t understand how he sees so much good in her. He gives and gives and gives, never asking for anything in return. She makes so many mistakes everyday, always saying the wrong thing or misinterpreting his actions and yet he’ll wave all her worries away with a simple  _ ‘I love you,’ _ when Taylor isn’t even sure if she’s ever spoken those words aloud to him. And she does. She loves him with every fiber in her being. Every atom of her body comes together to sing to him, making her skin buzz and heart swell as heat crawls within her. She wants him to know. 

Looking at him now, she wonders if she even has to say those words. She wonders if he can tell in the way she relaxes around him. How she adores when he compliments her- especially when she doesn’t think she deserves it. How she now fears the time when they are apart, dark thoughts creeping within, telling her that he won’t return. It’s irrational, she knows. There’s no reason for her to suspect he would not return. No past trauma to suggest otherwise. No indication from him that he wishes to do so. 

His eyes twinkle like stars in an unpolluted sky as he looks at her. It takes her breath away how simply seeing her can make him smile like  _ that _ . Like there isn’t anything more precious than her being there with him. She supposed there isn’t. There isn’t any place she’d rather be, after all. Valtair is the home she never had as a child. He fills the void within her with so much light and happiness. She doesn’t really know what to do with it all. 

Despite her vast knowledge and extensive vocabulary, Taylor didn’t know how to explain her feelings. When she was young, children would taunt her, telling her that she was an emotionless robot- built by a bored professor who later threw her away into the dumpster. She used to believe them. Believe that she was broken. That she was thoroughly unwanted in the world. She was friendless. Her father lost in his own head, not knowing how to interact with someone like her. Her mother gone somewhere where she could not reach. Her stepmother distant and uncaring. Her half sister spiteful and cruel. She had no reason to believe she was of any value. Until Valtair. He looked at her and decided she was someone worth knowing and loving. He taught her the value of loving oneself- a lesson she still struggles to remember in her darkest of times- and of just enjoying life. He taught her that the world wasn’t as dark as she’d thought. He flipped the light switch on and showed her that she wasn’t alone in the dark either. That she had allies. That she didn’t have to fight her battles alone. He was her knight in shining armor, when she hadn’t even known she was a damsel in distress. 

She allows herself to smile, and she intertwines her fingers with his, craving the touch of his skin on hers. She leans into him, taking in that smell she’s grown to associate with everything good in the world. The smell of spices and campfire and rain all rolled into one perfect human being. She allows herself to relax into him, reveling in the sensation of his arms wrapped securely around her. It shouldn’t make her feel as safe as it does, but nonetheless, she feels safe. This, this is paradise. Just Valtair, Taylor, and all the time in the world. When she can just be his and he can just be hers. Two souls intertwined into one, inseparable through rain and dry weather. He completed her. Like a puzzle looking for its missing piece, Valtair fit in perfectly into the dark picture of her life- revealing where the sun was always meant to be. 


	2. Persephone- ebony

When Persephone first saw Ebony, it was like she couldn’t breath. There was an  _ angel  _ in front of her and  _ wow  _ she’s looking right back at her. She was absolutely beautiful and Persephone’s poor lesbian heart couldn’t take it. Which meant she sent the lovely girl a smile and shoved her feelings deep down inside where light never touched. She  _ couldn’t  _ acknowledge those feelings. She wouldn’t survive if she did. 

That night she sat quietly as her grandparents shoved their beliefs down her throat during dinner. She pretended to eat as the words  _ disgusting fags  _ and  _ children of the devil  _ rattled around her head, threatening to drown her. She was the picture-perfect grand-daughter, she couldn’t afford to mess up now. 

That night she held back her hair as she gagged on her own finger and forced the contents of her stomach to come out, imagining it was all her sins tumbling out instead. She flushed the toilet and rinsed out her mouth. She ignored the mirror and she ignored the scale. She didn’t want to see those empty eyes. She didn’t want to see the numbers. 

In the end, it was Ebony who saved her from herself. She really was her guardian angel. 

Persephone isn’t entirely sure how it happened, but she does know that it was Ebony who took the first step. Sweet, brave, Ebony- who smiled every time she saw Persephone. Who invited her into her little group of friends. Who accepted her without hesitance. Who looked past the porcelain smile and saw the cracks she had tried to paint over. Who wordlessly handed her something small and easy to eat when she could. Who told Persephone it was okay to cry. Who held her as her entire world seemed to fall apart. Who helped her rebuild herself afterwards. Who showed her she was beautiful. Who cried with her as Persephone bore her soul- every insecurity, every word of self-loathing, every internalized homophobic thought. Ebony, who told her she loved her. 

She wasn’t perfectly okay, even after all the help Ebony had given her, but she was better. She could believe that what her grandparents said weren’t true. She could allow a little light into her. 

When she was finally able to leave the toxic environment she once called home, she went with Ebony. She was finally  _ free _ . Being with Ebony was like a burst of fresh air. 

She reveled in every laugh that Ebony offered- the sound lovelier than any melody she could play on the piano. Her smile was a cup of hot chocolate on a cold night. The twinkle in her eyes was the reflection of the setting sun against a lake. Her hugs could give life to the dead. Persephone never knew there could be someone so perfect. 

Persephone was taller than Ebony, but only just so. She loved it when they would cuddle on a couch and just  _ exist  _ together. Ebony fit perfectly into her arms. Persephone learned that fashion wasn’t just the skirts and blouses her grandparents had always had her wear, just so she could cuddle more comfortably with her angel. 

She hummed contently now as she ran her fingers through Ebony’s dark-chocolate brown hair, absentmindedly twisting it into a braid. She pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek, giggling softly as Ebony chased after it, trapping her lips with her own. 

Ebony’s coffee-colored eyes were soft and full of love. She twisted to place a carefully made flower crown onto Persephone’s head before turning back around and leaning back into her comfortably, a soft tune brought to life through those velvet lips. 

Persephone briefly wondered if she could make this last forever, but she quickly brushed the thought away. If this moment were to last forever, she’d miss out on seeing Ebony slowly waking up, a demand of caffeine instantly on her lips. She’d miss being taught how to make pancakes and somehow getting covered in flour. She’d miss whispering the lines of the Princess Bride back and forth to Ebony as the movie played on the screen in front of them. She’d miss those lazy days spent in bed when they just took a break from the world. She’d miss being woken up on her birthday to breakfast in bed and the now-familiar celebratory song that was sung every year. She’d miss painting Ebony’s nails as they sang along to Disney songs. She’d miss the blissful wonders of domestic life with her true love. 

She subconsciously brought Ebony closer to her. Ebony only intertwined their fingers in response, not minding the unexpected movement. The sun warmed them now, a threat to both their pale skin that they opted to ignore. Today was just a day in which to be had- there was no need for trivial worries such as sunburns and skin cancer. Okay, that was a lie. They had both made sure to apply sunscreen in order to avoid the fiasco that happened the  _ last  _ time they spent a day out in the sun with their friends. 

If someone had told younger Persephone that she would one day live in an apartment with her girlfriend and that they would raise dogs together, she would probably be horrified. Except by the dog part. Dogs could never horrify her. Of course, she’d only be horrified because if she had a girlfriend then that meant she was a sinner and was doomed to an eternity in Hell. Her name seems almost ironic reflecting on that thought. 

Of course, they hadn’t gotten to the dog part yet but they were  _ working on it! _ So  _ what  _ if their apartment didn’t allow pets? They’d figure something out. They always did. 

Persephone fingered the tiny velvet box hidden away in the depths of her bag. She supposed if someone told her younger self she was soon to be engaged to the most wonderful and perfect woman in the whole world, her younger self might just die right then and there. She considered doing it now.  _ Not yet,  _ her head whispered.  _ Soon, but not yet.  _


End file.
